Authenticity is the medicine ~ embracing polarities

"Authenticity is the medicine ". These words are still vibrating in my whole being. 

Last weekend I attended Weaving Spirit Song workshop with the singer of a band called Curawaka. It was a workshop to connect to your voice in an intuitive way. Anna who was guiding us said those words : your authenticity is the medicine.  She was speaking about authenticity in our voice but I do feel this is something that we can apply to our lives. 

Authenticity is the medicine 

What is being authentic? In yoga we talk about "satya" - which translates as truthfulness, true in words, actions and thoughts. What is true to me?

Can I honour my experience as it is in this moment?  

Authenticity or truthfulness requires being attuned to ourselves, aware of our experience on all the different levels - physical body, energy, emotions, the mind, the subtle shifts that might not have words to describe. When we are present with ourselves fully, we can choose to accept and embrace our experience. This includes everything, EVERYTHING.  

In the past I found myself not aware that I wasn't true to myself. In a recent conversation with a friend I was reminded that I used to numb my experience which would lead to making choices that were not aligned with my true self.  Through the journey of cultivating self-awareness, intuition and trusting my curiosity, I have come closer to myself in recent years, to this authentic self.  The authentic self doesn't need to work hard to exist. It feels lighter. 

Authenticity is the medicine because it helps us get closer to truth - the truth that is within us. And we are connected to the truth, we help others see it too. It is the medicine for our world, for our society that seeks solutions outside rather than turning attention inwards. I feel a strong wave of awe for how incredible we are as human beings, as creatures of nature. We are all interconnected and just as nature we can experience harmony, balance only if we allow this to happen, if we open up to the wisdom that has always been there. 

Authenticity within polarities  

Being authentic can sound a bit like a catch phrase but for me it is real.  I found myself feeling tension when I am out of alignement with myself. I use my sadhana (practice) as a way connect with my body, my mind, my spirit.  My sadhana might include yoga, movement, meditation, prayer, being nature or simply being aware of what is.  It sheds light on what is present here and now.  Our experience as human beings consists of what we might call positive and negative experiences or pleasant and unpleasant (there is also those that are neutral). Sometimes it can be difficult to accept that our lives consists of both suffering and pleasure. On an intellectual level, we know it.  But then we experience something unpleasant,  maybe it's a physical sensation, illness, a belief about ourselves, doubt. With awareness that life consists both suffering and pleasure and both are expression of the divine, consciousness, god or whatever na, we want to accept it yet there might be resistance to do so. I have been feeling this a lot lately and inquiring - how come I sometimes forget to consider the resistance / the frustration as part of the experience? It's like there is another layer to it all. And in the recent days, I have given space more to the full spectrum of my experience and although discomfort might still be there, it feels more REAL to allow all of those things.  This makes me think of how in Tantric philosophy, everything is considered an expression of the divine. It's not just the amazing moments of expansion, joy, bliss but it's also those moments of contraction, discomfort, hurt. They are one and the same. Can we honour these different expressions of our divine nature? 

Pendulation

The medicine is often in the poison. What that means is that when we are experiencing something uncomfortable, unpleasant, be it physical, emotional or mental, maybe a trauma we are holding in our bodies, turning away from it, pretending it is not there might make things worse. However, pushing yourself to stay with it or love your pain/discomfort inauthentically is also not the way. If we have avoided something for a long time, it is usually because it has been safer to do so. To help to increase  our ability to hold the full spectrum of our experience,  there is a beautiful practice coined by Peter Levine (somatic experiencing) called pendulation. In pendulation, you are invited to shift your attention from the painful/difficult experience to something that is the source of hope/joy. Moving the attention between the two helps prevents us from getting overwhelmed, overflooded with stuff we cannot deal with.  

Explore the polarities within yourselves through the pendulation practice below.

Some questions to reflect upon:

• Are there parts of my experience that I feel more and less accepting of?

• What do you feel in your body when you sit with your discomfort/ hurt/ pain?

• What is the discomfort/hurt/ pain trying to tell you?

• If there is resistance towards it, can you honour it and ask what is the resistance wanting from you?

• Create space to move between the unpleasant and the pleasant - it might be something you anchor yourself in before you start your self-inquiry.

With love,

Anna