The Break, the pause, the journey ahead.
The Break
This Thursday I am heading to Spain for the Break Fellowship programme for women entrepreneurs living in the EU. I am one of nearly 400 women selected for the third edition of this programme. We will be spilt into smaller groups to spend 3.5 weeks living together with time to work on our business projects, learn from each other, boost our creativity and make our projects even more meaningful and impactful.
The Journey
Heading to this experience has made me take time to reflect on my journey as an entrepreneur, creator, and most importantly as a human being. There are so many steps that I have taken till now on my path, so many different learnings that I have explored in order to find true meaning in what I do, in who I am. And the journey continues..
Creativity has always been at the centre of my life but it meant different things at different times. In my teens it meant drawing and writing in my journal. In my twenties it involved photography, visual arts and dancing, self-expression through movement - getting to know my body.
After I reached my 30s, I understood my interest in the process of inner transformation and so I began exploring how to create a project that will help others to support their process of inner transformation, healing, self-understanding, coming back to our true self. Yoga had already become a big part of my inner transformation - it brought me a sense of connection with my body, a sense of presence, feeling close to myself in spite of disliking parts of my body and my personality. I would get glimpses into what it feels like to feel whole. Many times, I was faced with moments of self-resentment, self-criticism, disappointment, feelings of inaccuracy, low self-esteem and questioning my worth as a human being. When we don't trust ourselves, we feel disconnected from our heart, from our intuition and we might lose hope or feel like we have lost control. I often wondered where does this lack of trust and lack of confidence come from?
I don't think there is only one answer - we are shaped by so many things - our environment, the people around us and especially our childhood experiences. When we don't feel safety to be ourselves, to express our emotions and to feel - we stop trusting that we can show up as we truly are. Often our gut (out intuition) tells us what we want, what we need, what is right, but we might shut it down, numb it as a defence mechanism or out of habit of suppressing our feelings,
I have been reading an incredible book about the connection between our emotions and our physical wellbeing called "When the body says no. The cost of hidden stress" by Gabor Mate. I truly recommend it for anyone who might be suffering from a chronic illness and wants to explore the possible deeper causes of its roots. It's truly mind-blowing to read about experiences of people who had not been given space to express themselves or have never felt truly loved, and how that manifested in their body.
Why talk about all this?
The body is our temple. It is our home for this lifetime in this world. During all the years that I experienced struggles to find my place in the world, my body would tell me something is off. It would feel discomfort, of some sort. I listened. I listened and moved forward to search for the connection with myself, with my intuition, with my body, my heart. I did not give up. Sometimes we hear the voice from within, but we might not know what it means. In my experience, I committed to keep going till I understood what this inner voice wanted to communicate to me.
Now - I feel I know what it wanted to tell me :
You know what you need to do, where you need to go, follow your heart. You are perfect exactly as you are, tap into your uniqueness and share it with the world.
My path has brought me through pieces of paper to write my poetry, through dance floors and travels to far away lands in search of answers. And yet a quote comes to mind that I read way before understanding its true meaning :
“A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.”
- George Moore
My reflections bring me to this moment now to realise that the answers are always within. We need tools and ways of discovering the answer. But this does not change the fact the answer has been there from the beginning. All we are here to do is to unveil it. This is not new at all, this is just a reminder. This is actually exactly what yoga and Buddhism teach - you are complete, you are a whole, you are a Buddha, you are the consciousness, inherently endowed with wisdom, limitless potential. All you need to do is see it.
The Journey Ahead
It is a process, it is a journey. It can take time, space and patience to remove all the layers that cover our true essence. Sometimes this process requires us to take a break from all that we know, to give a pause to logical thinking, to trust the journey ahead, to learn how to be comfortable in the discomfort and to watch our life unfolding with curiosity.
Here I am, heading for the Break, to take a break from the routine, to feel inspired, to gain a new perspective. This is a journey of self-discovery, transformation, presence, gratitude, kindness, self-compassion, embracing the unknown and opening to the myriad possibilities ahead.
I am looking forward to connecting with you when I return. Whether it's on a yoga mat, or through our circles, gatherings, or simply through the conversations before/after.
You can also join my Yoga Sanctuary online while I am in Spain.
Or I will see you somewhere, sometime after I am back, check here what's on in October/November.